Why You Contemplate Marriage?

I sincerely believe that if you are looking for any advice to contemplate marriage, you should hear from someone who is successful at the art of marriage. I have the opportunity of asking someone who has been successfully and happily married for the past thirty years to give you some advice!

Her name is Yolanda Marie Ferocha from New Guinea.

I will now display the email I got from her regarding about advising couple who are contemplating marriage.

Hi Janice,

Thanks very much for inviting me to writing for your dating column. Most of the time, I will treat my husband with “respect”. If you treat your spouse with respect, I believe that he/she will give you reciprocal treatment as well.

Besides, commitment to a marriage is crucial to making your spouse happy. Commitment doesn't mean that a man must be home straight after work or going for the regular weekend movies. But rather, commitment is to have love, lust and deep infatuation for your partner all the time. This is the most challenging aspect of the marriage as we are prone to adultery.

Is your partner prone to one-night stands? Does your partner consider about your future together? Does your partner treat you with relational respect? Does your partner treat your matters as top priority?

On the other hand, it is best to weigh your questions carefully before you decide to commit to a marriage. It is wise to remember that a marriage process is irreversible. Consider whether you are having any children as well. Some people will tell their spouses that they dislike children only after the marriage.

If your pre-marriage questions involve pre-marital violence, you have to ask your partner to seek professional help as soon as possible. A restraining order helps you temporary. But, it is not wise to get a restraining order as it will worsen the relationship between the both of you. Seeking pre-marital counseling will help you a great deal should you face this degree of problems.

Trivial issues may not bother a person in the beginning. But, what turns out to be the biggest problem in a marriage is usually the accumulation of many trivial issues! Therefore, it is always good to communicate with your partner if he/she is uncomfortable with certain post or pre-marriage issues.

I thanked Yolanda for her email and she said she will be writing from time to time. I just have to be more patient and wait for her next email.